


I'll see you again

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4863713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both know it isn't the right time, even if they secretely wish it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll see you again

Jemma drew in a deep breath and then released it, then one more time for good measure before she opened the door.

The room was cold, but Jemma was still overheated and it was a welcome change.

The man she sought had his back to her. Jemma wasn't quiet about her approach, the last thing she wanted him to think was that she was sneaking up on him

That fact that he didn't acknowledge her wasn't surprising. Bucky Barnes wasn't in the habit of acknowledging anyone unless he had to. But she liked the think she had succeeded a few times in drawing him into conversation if it was work related, and he didn't seem to mind when she rambled on for a time.

As she walked closer she looked curiously at the weapons. When she turned back Bucky was sliding the kevlar off his arms, leaving only a thin black sleeveless shirt clinging to his torso. Jemma mentally shook her head, because it wasn't the time to be appreciating his physique.

"I made a mistake," he said suddenly.

Jemma pursed her lips and stopped a couple of feet from him. His answer wasn't a surprise, because it was probably the truth. Bucky Barnes was still in the process of healing, remembering. He had little to no social skills and Jemma was pretty sure he wasn't even comfortable with any type of interaction outside of work. He had his best friend, Steve, and that was it. Jemma knew he couldn't juggle another relationship besides that. Knowing all of that, and being the logical person that she was, Jemma still surprised herself by being hurt.

"You're not ready," Jemma said, although it was partially a question. "I know that."

He still never turned and Jemma frowned. That was a small part of his problem, he refused to even try. She came up to his side and faced him, noting the hard line of his jaw. "You won't look at me." 

It was a mistake, Jemma was even more sure of it in that moment, because he couldn't even look at her. The little pieces she'd broken away in his walls were back. Bucky wouldn't let himself make that mistake again. He wouldn't kiss her again. "I'm actually here to tell you thank you." His head turned slightly towards her. He'd gone above and beyond to get her out safely. Then he'd kissed her. 

Bucky was always so cold, quiet, calm. Except when he had kissed her it had been the opposite, it had been rushed, intense. Jemma still remembered the feel of his hand fisted in her hair, his lips rough against hers. There was a lot more beneath the surface and she'd only seen a glimpse of it. 

Jemma put on a face of resolve and reached out to tug on his arm. Maybe she was stepping over the line, but Jemma felt he needed to know it was okay.

He didn't pull away as she pulled at the cybernetic hand, even though he easily could have. When he turned his eyes finally did met hers, but they were empty. Jemma ignored her nervousness and stepped forward to wrap her arms around his neck.

When he'd kissed her his arm had been around her waist, that was only two hours ago. This time he didn't touch her and Jemma couldn't say she was surprised, even if she wished he had.

She only held him for a moment, knowing more then that would be to much, and then pulled back, but as her cheek brushed his she turned her head and pressed a kissed at the corner of his mouth. There was something more then friendship there and a kiss on the cheek was for friends, but Jemma didn't dare initiate a real kiss. She only met his eyes for a moment before stepping back and forcing herself to head for the door.

"Jemma."

Her heart lurched in her chest. There was still a tiny part of her, that romantic part, that hoped he'd change his mind. She turned and looked at him.

"I'm sorry. I just...I can't."

She nodded and forced a smile to try and make him feel somewhat better about it. "I know. I'm sure one day you'll find someone and you can."  
\---------

Bucky looked away at her last comment and didn't look back up until the door closed behind her. He didn't budge for a few moments, even if on the inside he wanted to lash out and punch something. 

It was even harder because Jemma understood, because she hadn't turned away from him, she showed him she still cared.

It was maddening that he'd let himself unknowingly fall for someone, even more frustrating that he had to deny himself.

Then she had to walk away and leave him with that last statement. Maybe in a few years he'd be ready, but she'd be gone, moved on to other things and other people. There wouldn't be Jemma, and that made him bitter, because there was nothing wrong with her, it was him. There was a perfectly decent woman, who was smart, capable, caring, understood him, and he couldn't even get his shit together to hold onto that.


End file.
